Hello fellow Protagonists,
This bank holiday has given me the opportunity to spend more time reflecting on my goals and choices. Plenty more chance to catch up on some reading whilst also focusing on The Daily Buff.
I stumbled across an age old saying that caught my attention.
Only offer advice if someone asks for it.
This rang so true and only highlighted for me the reason why I wanted to start The Daily Buff. This is so that I can offer opinions and tips in a way where people can read posts at their own leisure, with no pressure attached. If Buff posts help adventurers like you with questions you may have, then that's incredible news!
The only time I may offer advice without a request, to an adult, is if they are likely to seriously hurt themselves or someone else with their current decision. One fairly recent example I can think of was seeing a person complete a deadlift at the gym with their back curled like a screeching cat. For the benefit of non-gym goers, It isn't going to end pretty for that cat.
Even after we offer advice to someone it is nothing to do with us if that person ends up taking our advice or not. If they still feel that the screeching cat is the hidden secret to a personal best then they probably will continue.
One additional challenging aspect of offering advice is when those perceived negative decisions are being made by those who we care about. Our sibling tells us about a sure fire get-rich-quick scheme they are about to opt their hard earned cash into. Our closest friend decides on Monday they are telling their boss to "stick it where the sun doesn't shine" with no back up plan.
These situations can leave us feeling that we should interject and offer our advice. Two points to ponder here would be:
Firstly, is my advice even the best advice? It may have worked for me in the past, or seem like the right thing to do, but will it work for someone else in their own personal situation? Do I know the full picture? This is also a reason why the topics read on The Daily Buff are best taken in a general context, alongside other sources. If an adventurer wanted points on a more specific and personal level, this is done better on an individual basis.
The second point to ponder is that If I did offer my advice and it was ignored, would this make me feel even worse? Could I manage to not take this personally if it did occur? Could it put an unnecessary awkwardness between me and that person?
At the end of the day, if you feel you have thought the situation through, given it time, and your gut instinct is telling you to go ahead, then it is totally your choice.
This doesn't mean that we can't open the opportunity to offer advice, rather than forcing it on somebody. Simply saying "If you want to talk about X, then I am happy to listen to your thoughts and share mine with you", leaves the door open for that person.
If that person goes ahead with their intended decision and it does end negatively, then we just need to have a little self-reflection. If we look over our own decisions it can be helpful to recognise which outcomes we learned the more important lessons from. Would these be from positive outcomes, or fuck ups? I will leave that one with you.
A final point is that sometimes it is best to influence our advice by following it ourselves. Then one day somebody will come and ask how we managed to Buff ourselves the way that we did.
"Well, seeing as though you asked so nicely..."
GLHF
Warrick